In the first part of my work I would like to tell the reader where I come from and how I came to search for the truth.
Using the example of the Moon sect, which I visited, I would like to show the dangers of cults on the one hand, and to explain why many people end up in cults and how these cults can be successful on the other.
Using the example of the factual report, which has occupied me a great deal, I would like to show that even with good will, love of the truth and honest intentions, great mistakes can be made. Certain circumstances and facts, as well as the immaturity of the times, are enough to tempt people to draw certain wrong conclusions and commit certain wrong actions. Using the factual report as an example, I would also like to show that there may be other explanations for why there are no authentic writings by and about Christ and why so much has been falsified and predated.
Finally, I would like to give a voice to critical voices such as Joachim Kahl and Gustav Wyneken, who have examined and described the foundations of the Church and its work. I think it is necessary to criticize the church's way of thinking once again. The time has come to throw dogmas overboard and to seek to live together in a true spirit.
I would also like to refer to books that deal scientifically with the study of the spirit and spiritual phenomena. They are a guide to how to approach the questions of life and the afterlife objectively and free of religious beliefs.
Finally, it is important to me to draw the reader's attention to people who have worked in the past, seeking the truth and working for the good of their fellow human beings. They can serve as examples of love for the truth and show us that even great spiritis are subject to the problems and natural limitations of earthly life and can err.
My parents were mountain farmers on the Saualpe in Carinthia. My father, born in 1895, was already 50 years old when I was born. I remember him as a very kind person. He was a brilliant storyteller and popular entertainer, a progressive thinker and a good father. On long winter evenings he would tell us about his experiences in two world wars. We children, neighbours or acquaintances, would listen to him talk about his imprisonment in Russia, the cold winters, his attempts to help fellow prisoners, his escape, his service on the home front in the Second World War and his experiences with the partisans.
My three brothers, my sister and I attended primary school in Greutschach. The secondary school was almost two hours' walk away in Griffen, so no pupil even considered attending that school. When I was ten years old, I wanted to attend this secondary school, although I had only heard a little about it. My parents discouraged me, but eventually let me go. It wasn't long before I had to go back to primary school. I couldn't buy the things I needed and I didn't have the book my English teacher wanted to test me on after two weeks. On top of that, I was feeling sick around this time, so I burst into tears when my English teacher, who had no idea about my situation, gave me a five.
As the first born, my older brother Erich was supposed to take over the farm one day. My younger brother Richard was lucky enough to be sent by the priest to Tanzenberg to become a priest (which didn't happen). As the second-born son, my parents wanted me to marry into a farming family one day. But there was something in me as a boy that I still can't quite explain. I saw a notice on the church gate that late-comers had a chance somewhere, and when I was fifteen I wanted to take the opportunity and become a businessman. In fact, my future boss asked me while I was shopping if I wanted to be a shop assistant. I was immediately enthusiastic and begged my parents to let me go. I eventually became an apprentice and was allowed to pick currants on my first day. Later I often worked as a labourer, helping the boss with bricklaying. But I took the first opportunity to change.
During my apprenticeship I attended a typewriting course and often studied the posters of »Maturaschule Dr. Roland«, a school that advertised the opportunity to obtain a high-school diploma via evening courses. But I didn't have the money, so I decided to wait and join the army as soon as possible. I was sent to Villach and then to the military headquarters in Klagenfurt, where, after learning to type with ten fingers, I was assigned to the office of the company commander.
At that time I enrolled with Dr Roland, received lecture notes, learnt English and Latin, mathematics and German. I decided to stay in an army office for a few years, but I wanted to be transferred to Vienna, which the commander refused, despite my good reasons, because he wanted to keep me in his office. And so, without really knowing it at the time, I had my first encounter with nepotism and opportunism. I shared my room with a soldier who had good contacts to the school inspector and who supported my cause via his political party in the Ministry of Defense. Since the minister belonged to a different party, however, the intervention 'only' resulted in my being transferred to Group Command I in Vienna. When the commander called me into his office after my transfer to Group Command - I still don't know why - he asked me if I had friends in a certain party. I told him the truth, adding that my father was a farmer and had always voted for the other party. A short time later I was transferred to the Ministry of Defence and assigned to a Carinthian major who understood and supported me.
Within about three years I passed my high school finals, but I was under such strain that I had to hold my cup with both hands so as not to spill my coffee. Even several months after the exams I still dreamed about them and in the mornings I woke up and was no longer sure whether or not I had actually passed them. What was even worse was that at that time my father died in sad circumstances so that I often dreamed about him. I dreamed that he was with us again, how he lived and died again…
My contract with the army expired and I looked for a job in payroll accounting. I started studying law because I wanted to be a judge or a human resources manager in a big company, and also because I saw few other options. After a year I passed the first of three state exams. The subjects included canon law and church history.
I went to a public school where law was taught. The professor was a kind of funny man who knew how to present the inconsistencies in the Church in a somewhat amusing way. He spoke of forgeries and more forgeries, and I could only wonder. It did not occur to me that the priests could speak of the truth and hide the forgeries, knowing that they were forgeries.
At that time a 'Society for the Unification of World Christianity' was holding lectures in a rented room at the University of Vienna. I saw this as an opportunity to learn more about Christianity. But things turned out differently than I had imagined at the time.